Heckuva Job, Fellas

A U.S. government analysis concludes that al Qaeda is at its strongest since September 2001. Call me crazy, but the whole idea of going to Afghanistan and Iraq was to eradicate al Qaeda and their extremist brethren. Not much progress there.

Meanwhile, the New York Times reported last month that the Bush administration's five-year-long attempt to fashion an alternative justice system for terrorism suspects has yet to complete a single trial. I thought we founded this damn country in part to put an end to the nefarious practice of secret tribunals. All that work for nothing. Then again, maybe the Constitution is working in spite of these bastids. At any rate, clearly little success on this front either.

So that's it: we are five years and half a trillion dollars into fighting these wars and fortifying our national security state, and our own government is telling us that the enemy is stronger now that at any time they have been since their deadliest attack. The administration has yet to prove that their illegal means of fighting terrorists are effective. But still they press on, determined to pursue these strategies.

It is hard to imagine how this administration could have gone more wrong than they have. They have clearly failed to achieve their stated goals. Who knows what their goals really are. But even if their goal turned out to be the most cynical quest to establish a fossil fuel hegemon, with no concessions given to human rights or collective security or international diplomacy, even then, one cannot say that their plan is working. In this regard, their failure is singularly spectacular. Heckuva job, fellas!

Fatter and Dumber

Buried in the 12th paragraph of this sleepy article was a shocker:

"Colonel Baggio said that [Army] recruiting had been hurt by the fact that 7 in 10 potential recruits in their late teens and early 20s do not meet Army standards, largely because they are too heavy or failed to graduate from high school."

Did I read that right? Seventy percent of the candidates that the Army specifically targets are either too fat or too dumb to qualify for the service. I'm having a hard time getting my head around this statistic. Does it qualify as a crisis when a super-majority of non-college bound 18-24 year olds are that hopeless?

Reality Check

I routinely complain about the way things are in this country, because I know we can do better. But then something comes along to remind me things could be much worse. The article casually points to a statistic that shocked and horrified me: in India, as many as 7,000 women are tortured and beaten to death by their husbands and in-laws for failing to pay a sufficient dowry. I had no idea that this practice was so widespread.

The human animal is an altogether remarkable creature, but it can be pretty repugnant as well. It's cliche to say that we have it pretty good here in the United States. We do. But with that aphorism comes another: here in the U.S., we need face our moral shortcomings honestly. Because the same human motivations at work in the Indian subcontinent are at work here. We must choose to be vigilant against the base part of our nature.

1-2-3 Not It!

Dammat, I've been tagged again! DAV at Evil Bobby is back to his nefarious ways. I already posted five random facts about myself over at LLTK. But I suppose this is technically a fair tag, because it requires eight facts, not five. So I'd better honor it. I don't know if my facts will qualify as "random," since it is difficult to randomize one's own thoughts. Maybe if I write down 2^16 facts and then dice for the final eight, they might seem random enough. This could take a while...

1. Among nerds, I suppose I could qualify as a "utility infielder." I game, take pictures of astronomical objects, read nonfiction, watch Angel reruns, wear costumes, read Lord of the Rings again and again, listen to Weird Al, and explain the difference between a geek and a nerd.

2. I never got my black belt. I injured my right elbow punching someone's lights out, and while I was on an extended leave, my martial arts instructor committed suicide. That was sad. I really want to go back and finish someday. But when you make it as far as I did, it is difficult to switch teachers. And he was a great one.

3. If all goes well, I am going to direct a rock video this summer! A friend asked me to help him make one. I've done some pretty gonzo movies in the past, but never a music video. It should be fun.

4. I have one God-child. Considering my own spiritual journey was recently shaken, I need to reflect upon how to be a mentor in her life without undermining her parents' beliefs and compromising my own.

5. My driver's license says that I weigh 195. What a splendid fiction! I think I'm pushing 210. But I don't really know, because I've been too scared to get on the scale for the last couple of months. I was hovering around 190 at this time last year. Then everything went to hell. Anyone need a workout partner?

6. I feel guilty that I never wrote a review about Pan's Labyrinth. To my mind, it was probably the best movie I saw in the last 12 months. Why should I feel guilty?!? It's not like anyone is expecting it. I don't have to turn it in. No one cares! But the shame remains.

7. I buy Powerball tickets when the jackpot goes over $100 million. What is the point of dreaming small? I don't want to gamble a dollar for a mere $47 million. Readers who have been around a while probably remember this plan. I'm biding my time.

8. I am still thinking about how to implement my idea.

I am hard-pressed to come up with eight names. LLTK, GeistX, and DAV have taken almost everyone I know. Tagging: Manda (no pressure, I swear), Doreen, Rocky (who has yet to respond to his first tag), Basil, Patty (I know you're out there), jfb, Mikey, and Lacey (surprise!).

Of Bonds and Bush

This morning the local news ran a puff piece on a fan who ran out on field during the San Francisco Giants game to shake Barry Bonds' meaty paw. One of our morning talking heads, Tim McNiff, couldn't resist taking a shot at the beefy outfielder. McNiff, who I like quite a bit (anyone who makes knowledgeable and positive on-air remarks about The Clash, Prince, and Weird Al is OK by me), quipped that Bonds talked more to that fan than he has to his teammates this year. Made me chuckle.

A bit later there was a spot about George W. Bush beaching his boat on a sandbar or some such. This elicited none of the jocular ribbing it deserved. Suddenly I wished that I lived in a world in which a television news personality could ad-lib editorials about people who really are fuck-ups. Dammat, Tim! You missed an opportunity. Oh well, I can't say I blame you. Even if you really hated GWB, I suppose you would invite a firestorm of criticism for calling a spade a spade.

Cuisiniers du Cinéma

Animation auteur Brad Bird knows how to define an interesting character and he knows how to tell a great story. While it is not on the level of his masterpiece The Incredibles, his latest Pixar offering, Ratatouille, is a terrific piece of family entertainment. Set in Paris, it tells the story of a rat named Remy who dreams of using his gifts in the culinary arts. He befriends Linguini, a ne'er-do-well janitor, and together they work wonders, forming the Master Blaster of French cooks.

Physical comedy abounds in this movie, and there are some hair-raising chases and narrow escapes. The technology that powers computer-animated films these days is nothing short of remarkable. What I really liked about this film, however, is its simple, almost cliche message. Love of family, honesty, and above all belief in oneself are all woven into the impossibly zany tale so gently and effortlessly that one never feels like the film is preaching. If a rat can follow his dreams, then maybe we should too.

(footnote: my daughter and I have to argue about which is Bird's masterpiece, The Incredibles or The Iron Giant. She says most emphatically that it is the latter film.)

One Hundred

I started this blog at the beginning of the year, and here I am six months later, still at it. Not to sound too pleased with myself, but I'm hitting a minor milestone with this post: one hundred essays and other bits of nonsense published in this, my humble corner of the web. Not bad! My goal was to put something up every other day or so, and I'll be damned if I haven't been successful at keeping that pace! How bout that?

So now what? I updated a few fonts and colors, for starters. What else can I do to improve this space? Well, I read recently that the best blogs have a specific, targeted focus, continually riffing on a narrowly defined theme. Dammat, that's not me! I have a ridiculously broad set of interests. I guess the only thing I can do is make the writing better. I'd like to see this space get smarter, funnier, more outrageous and more sublime. Suggestions welcome. Your call will be answered in the order in which it was received. See you soon.