It's Working

My bacon and egg diet is really starting to pay off - I've lost 14 pounds, my cholesterol is down 43 points, and my triglyceride count is down 69 points (!). My fasting glucose level is a little high, but I've found some research that explains this curious phenomenon, and I'll make some adjustments before my next glucose test.

Science!

Recovery Meal

Open Letter To Wedge Community Coop

Dear Wedge: someone posted a link to your newsletter today entitled "My Vegan Challenge to Oprah." My curiosity was piqued and I clicked the link. I was disappointed to see, however, that you had already removed the "offending" article, presumably caving to pressure from vegans. How sad that you chose to censor yourself rather than to invite a vigorous debate.

It would have been far better to leave the article and invite another scientist to dispute Ms. Turner's claims. Closing down the discussion before it had even begun is a triumph of orthodoxy over knowledge.

update: luckily, the article can now be found elsewhere.

update 2: I just got a response from the Wedge. It was a kindly note, but it sounds like their vegan customers are quite outraged by the article. Ahh, the intractability of beliefs. That will actually be my next blog topic, by way of a book review.

Oh Yeah

I don't know why I haven't spent more of my life making cookies, especially for the holiday season. I intend to rectify this deficiency forthwith. There is little better than that hallowed, delicious enterprise, except perhaps sharing the proceeds of such labors!

The Spirit Is Willing But The Flesh Is Weak

My life will never be the same. I just discovered that downstairs in the cafeteria here at work, there stands a refrigerated vending machine stocked with frozen dairy treats. How can I resist the temptation of an M&M ice cream sandwich? Or a classic drumstick? And there are other choices too! I think the folks over at Aramak must be mocking me.

No! I must be strong. I need to watch what I eat and take better care of myself. I refuse to cave in to their demands that I buy and consume their delicious sundries. But still the treats sit silently in their frozen case, waiting... waiting... waiting.

Anyone got a quarter?

Maude Squad

You heard it here first: there's a new sheriff in town, Southwest Minneapolis to be precise. A friend of a friend is the head chef at Cafe Maude, just opened this June. This is his first go-round as the chief, as he is a very young man. But don't let his age fool you! The food and drink are exquisite. Get yourself there for a meal, and make sure you have a reservation! The lads met there for dinner last night. But we didn't make a reservation, a poor but apt reflection of our planning abilities. Luckily, that didn't detract from the experience at all. We stood at the bar and visited with the friendly and accommodating bartenders.

I had a raspberry foam lemon drop while devouring a plate of perfectly cut and seasoned french fries. The importance of a french fry's texture cannot be overstated. And these were right on. In a gesture of friendship, the kitchen sent out a chicken flatbread, which was delicious. Thank you, Aaron! For dinner I enjoyed a delightful hamburger - juicy, tender, and flavorful, topped with avocado and mozzarella. One of my dining partners added a side from the menu's small plates - a sauteed spinach dish with a fried egg on a bed of fluffy basmati rice. Man, did that look good. I'm already dreaming about going back.

This place is going to be a permanent fixture. It's great to see a new restaurant starting out so well. I'm sure they'll be written up with much fanfare in City Pages and Star Tribune and Minnesota Monthly before long. Just remember, you heard it here first.

(postscript: man, do I have fun titling my posts. This one had such an embarrassment of riches that it was difficult to choose - Herald & Maude, You Heard It Here First, All Maude Cons, Maude-ify Your Dinner Plan, etc, etc. Do you love it?)

Nutritional Assault

A friend of mine is iconoclastic when it comes to nutrition, especially dietary sodium. Most of his family is dead due to hypertension, diabetes, or heart disease. Though I am not as militant as he, his convictions have nevertheless rubbed off on me. While I consider myself to be in pretty good health overall, I do go through cycles of careful diet and exercise which give way to bouts with boredom, depression, and eating-for-gratification.

At the bottom of this cycle, when I start to notice how shitty I'm feeling, I begin to read the "nutritional facts" on food labels. Take Low Fat Nutri-Grain Eggo Toaster waffles. They sound healthy, right? Wrong. 430 milligrams of sodium per serving. What the fuck? Almost a quarter of your salt for the day, for a food no one would consider "salty." Only slightly less sodium per serving than a serving of Prego spaghetti sauce, the saltiest sauce on the market. Don't even mention Progresso soup. Or Chipotle, for that matter. One of those burritos has more salt than you should have in an entire day.

My favorite example: Jell-O Pudding Cups. I love those cute little things: a sweet, fun treat that makes me feel like a kid. Yummy! But they are more savory than you think: that tiny 113 g serving has 200 mg of sodium. A healthy rule of thumb for salt: you should eat no more than one milligram per calorie consumed. I'm doubling up my sodium intake when I indulge in a pudding cup. Damn that sucks.

Americans get only about 11% of their overall dietary sodium intake by adding a dash of salt to the food on their plates. A whopping 77% comes from convenience foods. These processed foods have become increasingly saturated with sodium over the last 30 years. Why is this? Not for reasons of taste. It has become a competition to create a more addictive brand. Focus marketing has determined that consumers eat more when the product has more salt. The result is hyper-food that people slavishly devour. The consequences? In part, epidemic levels of obesity, heart disease, and hypertension.

Where is my steamed kale and edamame?

Progress

I read this evening that Kellogg Company is going to phase out marketing their junk-food to children. This is a remarkable victory against the unbridled forces of the marketplace by two advocacy groups - Center for Science in the Public Interest and Campaign For A Commercial-Free Childhood.

Some countries have made it illegal to market unsafe and/or unhealthy products directly to children. When I first heard that a while back, I have to admit that I was downright confused. The marketing of products to children is so ubiquitous here in the U.S. that it seemed beyond question. So I applaud the efforts of these activists, both to raise our collective consciousness, and to help tame the more ruthless machinations of corporate capitalism.

Black Forest, Black Heart

I am deeply saddened by my visit to the Black Forest last night. Growing up it was a favorite of mine - my dad used to take me there for my birthday and for other occasions. The food and atmosphere were a palpable connection to my German heritage, something I was very proud of as a boy. For some reason, though, I never frequented it as an adult, and it had been probably seventeen years since I'd been there. After last night, I probably won't be going back any time soon.

The restaurant still has gobs of charm: I love the painted interior, the warm wooden bar is classic, the beer list is solid, and it possesses one of the best patio dining spots I've ever seen. Stepping inside really does take one to another place. But the food is less than I remember (though the potato salad is still great), the portions are underwhelming, and worst of all, the prices are outrageous. Twenty dollars for an average-sized plate of middling beef stroganoff! Ridiculous. I had to order the potato salad and another beer just to fill myself up.

As we were eating, one friend speculated that they are attempting to skim off of the popularity of the nearby Azia, which by many accounts is also maddeningly overpriced. I hope that's not the case, but the theory unfortunately fits the facts. Black Forest is basically an ethnic greasy-spoon in with an eclectic neighborhood charm. It has no business charging downtown hipster prices like that. I doubt it will be a successful strategy in the long term. More's the pity. Because The Forest is a Minneapolis classic.

Civic Pride In My Gut

Gotta love a hometown food write-up in the New York Times. There are some terrific places to eat in the Twin Towns! For our size, I like to think we are on par with the big boys, like San Fran and NYC itself. Go Minneapolis! Just a few weeks ago Salon ran a piece on Hell's Kitchen. They have some damn good food. Amazingly, I haven't tried any of these joints mentioned in the Times article. I have some work to do!

The last place I tried was The Craftsman - I had a brilliant appetizer - pork rillettes with crostini. Oh my god does that sound good right now. They also great selection of local brews. However, if you go, I recommend that you skip the chorizo pizza: though the sausage was suitably dry and spicy, the pie had too much potato for my palette.

Dammat, now I'm hungry again...

I'm Hungry

Lately I've been eating like a feral dog in the middle of an Old Country Buffet. I seriously cannot seem to sate myself. Take last night. Some coworkers and I went to Ike's, a fine downtown Minneapolis destination for for any meal. I devoured the appetizers: potstickers drizzled with hoisin and chili, shrimp wrapped around scallops, and smoked chicken quesadillas with sour cream and guacamole. For my main meal, I inhaled a seared ahi tuna sandwich with wasabi mayonnaise that came with fries and cole slaw. After this kingly feast, I found myself staring at my colleagues' left over burgers and fries. "That looks really good. I wonder if it would be gluttonous to ask them for it."

I think I need help.

Shitburger w/ Large Lies, Part 4

I love women's shoes. They're hot. But a few nebbish dorks around the office occasionally grouse that women "shouldn't be wearing open-toed shoes, because of OSHA regulations!" OSHA my ass. Never wildly impressed with the organization, after reading Fast Food Nation, I am thoroughly disgusted with the agency. Not because there aren't good people in there, but because the organization itself has been two-ball castrated by the meatpacking industry! One example among far too many: OSHA fined National Beef for negligence in the deaths of two workers. The fine? $960.

Next time I hear someone in our posh office bitching about women's shoes and safety, I'm gonna go ballistic: "FORGET about the damn shoes at the office! There are meatpackers in Greely, Colorado who REALLY need OSHA's help! They don't have TIME to worry about stubbed toes! THERE ARE PEOPLE DYING!"

And there are. Meatpacking went from a high-skill, high-wage, unionized manufacturing job to low-skill, low-wage, at-will employment for immigrants, seemingly overnight. And that transformation has helped to make it one of the most dangerous jobs in the United States.

Colorado, with the help of large agribusiness corporations, has codified what many meatpacking injuries are worth, if a worker is willing to sign a waiver that denies him the right to ever sue or even to seek a second opinion about his medical condition. A finger? $2,200 to $4,500, depending upon which one. An arm? $36,000. And "serious permanent disfigurement about the head, face, or parts of the body normally exposed to public view" entitles a worker to a maximum of $2,000. No paid leave, no medical benefits, just a permanent disability and a one-time payout if the employee is lucky.

In the end, who really pays for this travesty? We do! Because these decent people end up living on public assistance. To me, this is literally human sacrifice, subsidized by taxpaying citizens, for the purpose of providing a low-cost, unhealthy meal to ignorant consumers.

I love the chapter title, "What's in the Meat." It's horror/comedy at it's best. Like Shaun of the Dead or Bio-Zombie. So just what is in the meat? The story is macabre before the animals are even slaughtered. Cows are fed rendered chicken and pork waste. Chickens and pigs are fed rendered beef waste. Incidentally, cats and dogs eat cats and dogs. It's in their food. I didn't know that. I suppose I should have, but I didn't. Anyway, the cows, being ruminants, must be heavily dosed with antibiotics in order to survive this diet. Add to all of this a hefty cocktail of hormones to speed growth, maturation, and muscle development. That beast is ready for the kill! Better living through chemistry!

Off to the slaughterhouse. Beef cattle usually stands around in gigantic feed lots, wading in their own piss and shit for days until they get lead in to be killed in an assembly-line fashion. Now, I happen to think that the animals I eat should still be treated with some reverence. But even if you don't feel that way, consider that from a bottom-line perspective, it probably would be better if an animal about to be made into food wasn't covered in feces.

The assembly line goes at breakneck speeds, and poorly-trained, overworked, underpaid workers pull the entrails out of the carcasses as quickly as they can. One error and shit is everywhere. The shit doesn't have to be there. To wit: when the beef being processed at these slaughterhouses is to be shipped to the European Union, the lines are slowed to ensure a lower contamination ratio. The EU has virtually eliminated fecal contaminants from their meat supply, and they prefer to import as little shit as possible.

Incidentally, guess where the worst of the worst meat ends up? In our schools, being fed to children. The USDA buys it at cut-rate prices, after the prime beef is picked over by the fast-food companies.

I could go on about E. coli, Salmonella, Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (aka Mad Cow Disease), and other contaminants, but the title of this four-part series pretty much sums it up: if you are eating ordinary ground beef from grocery store or from a fast food chain, you are quite literally eating shit.

The industry doesn't want to do what the EU does: slow production lines and implement widespread microbal testing at all stages of processing and handling. Instead, they want to "cold pasteurize" the meat. "Cold pasteurize"? What the hell is that? It turns out that this is what the Beef Industry Food Safety Council wants to call "irradiation."

***

So what about Richard Linklater's film version? I must confess I saw the movie first. I thought it was fairly well-made; it struck me as slightly preachy and disjointed, but informative and very grim. It was a clever idea to take a work of non-fiction and weave a narrative around the information.

Linklater succeeded in this endeavor by building a multi-threaded story around an ensemble, in the spirit of Syriana or Traffic. Except that the characters populating this tale are much closer to us. Terrorism and the drug trade don't affect as many Americans as fast food. Though it lacks the raw data that gives the book its devastating punch, the film's finale is as bleak as it is real.

***

Earlier in this series of essays, I talked about Schlosser's comment that informs the book. He said that there was nothing inevitable about the way American food production is today. And in other parts of the world, they are doing something about it. Germany, ground zero of the industrial revolution, no longer believes that an industrialized food system is in the best interests of people or the environment. They are legislating to de-industrialize food production, mandating that 20% of farms are organic by 2010.

Now that's something hopeful. I'd like to see the U.S. take a step or two in that direction. But we have to start somewhere. So skip the fast food. Buy small, buy local, buy organic. Eat slow food.

Shitburger w/ Large Lies, Part 3

In 1917, the five largest meatpacking companies - Armour, Swift, Morris, Wilson, and Cudahy - controlled about 55% of the market. They routinely fixed prices and engaged in a myriad of anti-competitive behaviors, so much so that President Woodrow Wilson, presumably having no relation to the Wilson meatpacking company, ordered the FTC to investigate the industry.

Worried that a trial would destroy them, the meat industry giants signed a consent decree in 1920 that effectively broke their monopoly. Over the next fifty years the industry became smaller and more distributed. By 1970, the top four meatpacking firms slaughtered only about 21% of the nation's cattle.

Fast forward to today. The top four meatpacking firms - ConAgra, IBP, Excel, and National Beef - slaughter about 84% of the nation's cattle. This does not raise concern in Congress or the White House. In fact, the president and key members of Congress embrace this system and are cozy with the industry's lobbyists. The USDA, OSHA, and the FDA are largely partners with these agribusiness giants. These federal agencies possess little real power to enforce regulations or punish infractions.

This massive concentration of market power is maintained in large part because there is not a widespread, open commodities exchange for cattle. As much as 80% of the cattle being grown is bought and sold at undisclosed prices by the big four, effectively rendering a small rancher powerless to compete for market share or offer his stock at an informed price.

So what happened in the last 40 years? McDonald's demand for supply chain efficiencies...

Jesus, am I still going? Are you still here? You should have slapped me long ago. But thanks for sticking with me. Damn, this is getting to be a long review. I was trying to write a narrative of one thread that runs through Fast Food Nation, but it seems to be falling apart! You'll just have to read the book.

The tale of the beef industry, as told in the chapters "On the Range", "The Most Dangerous Job," and "What's in the Meat," is the beating heart of Schlosser's opus. But as I sit here trying to organize my thoughts and include the choicest cuts, I realize again how skillfully Schlosser has presented his material.

He had opened the book with a comparative history of two of the great purveyors of Americana in the 20th century, Walt Disney and Ray Kroc. We all know uncle Walt (though maybe not some of his more nefarious deeds), but Kroc is the man who took the McDonald brothers' small California restaurant and made it into an international phenomenon.

Disney's and Kroc's desire for complete control of their own product and their single-minded strategy to sell that product to the entire family made them unique. This introduction helps to frame a context for the explosion of fast food in the last forty years. Without it, the story just doesn't quite come to life.

Next: the stunning conclusion to Shitburger: the film, the grotesque facts, and some other third thing.

Shitburger w/ Large Lies, Part 2

By the time I got around to looking at Fast Food Nation, I considered myself pretty aware of food politics. My wife and I had run a child care business. Good nutrition and food safety were important issues to us. I bought free-range and organic foods when I could, and we never ate much beef anyway.

I thought we were doing pretty well, I thought I was a green, progressive consumer, I thought I had heard all I needed to know about the mistreatment of chickens and the lagoons of pigshit. Who cares about a little fast food? It's no big deal. I was doing my part, wasn't I?

There is so much more to the story.

In Fast Food Nation, Eric Schlosser assembles an enormous amount of information into a single tome that scathingly indicts the American system of industrial agriculture. What is remarkable about this book is that he mostly manages to eschew the hyperbole of a true believer. Instead, he turns a serious, investigative, and critical eye toward the entire economic and cultural system of fast food. His meticulous research and statistics made my jaw drop and my stomach sick. But he is never dour nor boring, and rarely is he pedantic. He uses humor and humanity to portray the absurdity and the horror of the tale.

Schlosser's central question is "why?" Why is industrial agriculture and the fast food industry the way that it is? In asking this question, he notes that, while the fast food experience has become so utterly mundane and commonplace that it is akin to brushing one's teeth or stopping at a traffic light, there was nothing inevitable about the way it is. That simple idea struck a chord in me. I'd never thought of the problem in quite that way. We lived in an industrial society, so why wouldn't we have an industrialized food system?

It turns out that the food system we have today has a one-hundred year history, dating back to the turn of the last century. In the early 20th century, farming and raising cattle were largely the same as they had been for time out of mind. But urban areas were changing. Chicago meatpackers were subject to appalling conditions, and the meat being processed was filth-ridden.

A young socialist, Upton Sinclair, published his incendiary work The Jungle, which documented the plight of these workers and exposed the foul and potentially harmful beef. Public outcry from this book and from other activists caused such a stir that the Roosevelt administration swiftly enacted the Pure Food and Drug Act of 1906. This became the foundation of the modern Food and Drug Administration.

Shitburger w/ Large Lies, Part 1

As a kid, I loved McDonald's. I can't tell you how many times I went there. I grew up on it. My parents were divorced, so it was my connection to my dad, who on Sundays took us there during our visits.

We never had illusions that it was any good for us. My dad had read Bic Mac: the Unauthorized Story of McDonald's when it came out in the 1970s. So he knew it wasn't a healthy supper. My aunt always teased us that those white buns gave you butt cancer. I didn't really know what that meant at the time, but the word "butt" made me giggle.

None of that really mattered, however. The poor nutritional value of the meal was completely eclipsed by desire and expediency. It tasted so good! Salt, fat and sugar in spades. A McDonald's meal satisfied primal cravings. It was otherworldly; an instant meal to fill us up and make us happy.

My first introduction to food politics came when I was a teenager. A friend pointed out that Burger King used meat from Hormel, which had notoriously broken the Austin, Minnesota meatpacking union strike. He had relatives who were meatpackers, so I showed solidarity by avoiding the Whopper. We simply proceeded to eat every other kind of fast food we could get our hands on.

Time went on. Eating at McDonald's, though still ok, became rare, as I had grown into a fairly health-conscious person. But all that went out the window when I had kids. Once again I found myself seduced by the cheap, quick, and convenient "all-American meal." My wife became obsessed with collecting the toys that came with the Happy Meals. My kids loved the treat.

It wasn't a regular thing. We tried to instill good eating habits in our kids. But McDonald's was an acceptable bit of junk food: good for a night I didn't feel like cooking, a safe stop that everyone could agree upon while traveling, an easy place to grab a quick meal and a collectible nicknack. How bad could it be?

All of this is backstory to my inevitable encounter with Fast Food Nation. I saw the film last Thanksgiving, then I finally started the book over Christmas. I just finished it today.

Happy Slightly Used Year

Well, 2007 is thirteen days old. I haven't brought about the harmonic convergence, nor conquered the world yet, but it seems to be going ok. My resolution for this year is to cook more. I've been doing fairly well so far. And in truth, it seems to be a simple, modest, and completely achievable goal. There is a lot behind this resolution, however. I'll speak more about it when I publish my joint book/film review of Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser.