Tuesday, August 12, 2008

No Uglies, Please

Apparently Ashlee Simpson and Milli Vanilli aren't the only ones who do it. The plucky, cute nine-year-old who performed "Ode to the Motherland" during the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics was just pretending! But here's the real kicker - she wasn't lip-syncing to her own voice, because it wasn't even her voice to begin with!

The girl who actually sang the song was deemed too ugly to perform, so they put a prettier girl on stage. Said the show's musical director: "[she] was used [in place of the actual singer] because it was in the best interests of the country." Wow. Talented enough to sing in front of the entire world at nine years old, but told she's too ugly to be on stage? Sign this poor girl up for therapy.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

A Spectacular Contrast Of Then And Now

In this amnesic age of sixty-second sound bytes, one-hour debates, twenty-four hour news cycles, and the daily scramble to follow current oil prices and stock quotes, one would do well to ponder at length the moral of this tale.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Centerfold and Actress Clash Over Vaccinations

Playboy bunny Jenny McCarthy and actress Amanda Peet are having a media spat over whether vaccinating children is good public policy. Now, call me fucking crazy, but I would prefer that SCIENTISTS and DOCTORS debate the merits of childhood vaccinations and their impact upon public health on the news, rather than a couple of b-list celebrities. Is that too much to ask?