Sick Game

A quick update on world affairs: the U.S. has taken to blowing up primary schools in order to get at insurgents. No word on how effective that strategy is yet. Meanwhile, al Qaeda's second-in-command, Ayman al-Zawahiri, released a recorded statement in which he mocks U.S. plans for troop withdrawal. "We ask Allah that they only get out after losing 200,000 to 300,000 killed, so that we give the blood spillers in Washington and Europe an unforgettable lesson," he said. If this statement is any indication, killing Iraqi schoolchildren probably won't be the United States's best plan for defeating an ever-evolving extremist organization.

Al-Zawahiri's statement is nothing more than a playground taunt writ on a global scale. Should we fall for it? Should we play this deadly game any more? Given al-Qaeda's apparent truculence, is it worth our lives and our resources to pursue such a course of action? And even if we could somehow roundly thump all the agents of al Qaeda (a fantastically unlikely proposition at best), what then? Al Qaeda's political goals do not exist in a vacuum, and real poverty and desperation exist in the Middle East. Eradicating al Qaeda will not address the grievances, real or imagined, that they purport to address. From that perspective, destroying al Qaeda accomplishes nothing.

We are shadow-boxing in Iraq now, fighting a bully that can't really be hit, but that gets stronger with each misstep we make. I've said it before: bring the troops home.

I Wanna Break Something

You know that scene in Pulp Fiction where Butch has a temper-tantrum about his watch? That's exactly how I feel right now. My configuration file that I spent the last three months fine-tuning has been corrupted, and my deployment is screwed without it.

Did I title this post "I wanna break something"? I already did.

FAAAAACK!

More Words I Like

Part two, baby! In part one, I simply listed my beloved words without comment. That was fun, but looking back, I'm sure it made for a weak read. So I thought I'd better say a bit this time.

According to one source, the English language is closing in on one million words. Holy buckets! I had no idea it was that high. I thought the number was somewhere around 600,000. I assume that many of the newer words in English are actually borrowed from other languages as global communication and culture develops. From that perspective, it would be fascinating to travel forward in time, say five hundred years or so, and discover whether a truly global language has evolved. I wonder if philologists have begun to contemplate the impact that the internet, email, and cell phones will ultimately have on languages around the world.

Incidentally, This series was inspired by a friend of mine who called me a "word nerd." Now, I took it as a fine compliment, but the truth is that I am not a word nerd, at least when compared to some. Next to some folks I know, I am a mere "word apprentice," unworthy of the title among the astonishing linguists and remarkable human dictionaries with whom I converse.

I should add that my favorite words aren't chosen solely for their meaning or their rarity or uniqueness . Some are selected for their sound, or for the mouth shape made when saying them, or for the way they look on the page. I also chose some because of a fond memory for the original context in which I learned its meaning, or for a delight in a particular author's or lyricist's turn of a phrase using the word. You'll have to decide which is which. Or you can just ask. Or you can just skip to the next post. Anyway...

blitzkrieg feast cloying breast entreat sinewy fiction vacuous paradigm solipsism wizard champion league pump thumb earnest schadenfreude tautology thwart grab ass legion wise nipple regent steward insipid game throat supple gonad lumbar demigod boner bottle ache placate humble lord sordid liquid crimson star

This Rules

H3 Hummer... $33,225
New rims... $2,396
Custom paintjob... about $10,000

Wheels stolen, vehicle ticketed by police, and fugly party-ride dragged & towed away by two trucks... priceless.

I Scream Koan

A friend of mine started a meditation class recently. It follows her pilates workout. She has been been looking at chakras and koan cards and working on all manner of breathing and relaxation techniques. From her descriptions and her apparent satisfaction, it seems to be a great class.

I have studied two forms of martial art, learned about several religions and philosophies, and even dabbled in alternative spirituality, but I have never taken a course specifically for learning meditation. So I have been listening with interest to the things that she has revealed to me about her sessions. The other day she shared one of the thoughts on her koan card, and it stuck. I've been turning it over in my head for the last few days. On the front of the card, it said:

"Make medicine from suffering."

On the other side, the card read:

"Abandon your judgements and concentrate on healing yourself so that you can cease to be a patient and become a doctor. Suffering heals separateness."

The meaning seems clear to me: the koan entreats us to look upon hardship as a way to learn lessons about our own nature, and to use those lessons as a salve to heal ourselves and grow beyond our apparent shortcomings. I like this sentiment. As a response to life's trials it is neither passive nor unrealistic. It invites us to become agents in our own salvation, which in turn will make us vessels for rendering aid and comfort unto others.

The last part of the koan troubles me, however: it comes uncomfortably close to the glorification of suffering as a sacred rite of passage. "Suffering heals separateness"? That sounds like a Catholic Christian concept, one that I grew up with and that I find to be very distasteful. Suffering is not an agent. It does not "heal" anything. It does not "do" anything at all: it is a result, an outcome. At best, suffering is a random misfortune that befalls someone. At its worst, it is caused by the evil and/or greed of another human being. Our response to tragedy, to adversity, to suffering... that is what sets us apart. Not the suffering itself.

It is possible that the teacher who wrote that koan intended for students to contemplate such an avenue of meaning. I cannot presume it didn't occur to that person! After all, I am ignorant of the author's goal, and of the broader philosophical and spiritual context taught in the class. But throughout the ages philosophers and theologians have considered human suffering, and have struggled to assign meaning to it. So it upsets me to see suffering couched in terms that lend it an air of mystical purpose. I want to believe that a person's redemption lies in the choices he makes, not in the sorrows that befall him.

I'll have to think on this more. Maybe I'll bug my friend again - perhaps there will be a clue in next week's koan... Meantime, I'll embrace hedonism.

Abject Failure

I'm supposed to be wallowing in my own self-pity, like any self-respecting tortured artist. But I don't have time for that, thanks to all these dumb-shits who keep piling on. Stupid Sons-of-Bitches! So all I can muster is righteous indignation. To wit: the NYT reported Sunday that some of the most highly-touted Iraqi reconstruction "success stories," such as the maternity hospital, are actually crumbling masses of rubble, and that one expert remarked flatly that reconstruction is "doomed to failure." Kinda makes you all warm and fuzzy inside, don't it?

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Injustice, Solomon Grundy says shit like "Why is winning in Iraq so important? [Because] in my view and others, al Qaeda has made Iraq the central front in their war with us." Yeah, right. Fact: Al Qaeda did not operate in Iraq prior to the U.S. invasion. We practically invited those jackasses into the country by fucking it up so royally! Hell, that was exactly what al Qaeda wanted: to immerse the West in a polarizing conflict with Islam. Mission Accomplished! Iraq is now the perfect terrorist recruiting station and training ground. Well done, Bush Administration! Goddamn Legion of Doom motherfuckers.

Here's another one that makes my head spin: wonks keep calling the current (now vetoed) budget bill on Capitol Hill "funding for the troops." Can't play politics with funding for the troops. Let's put the fun back in funding for the troops! Blah blah blah. Now I haven't read the bill, but I'd bet real money that our soldiers' pay comes out of the Pentagon's base budget. It damn well better, or I might have to become a tax-protester. But whatever. We all know that this funding bill is for the war, not the troops. And there's a big fucking difference between the two.

Civic Pride In My Gut

Gotta love a hometown food write-up in the New York Times. There are some terrific places to eat in the Twin Towns! For our size, I like to think we are on par with the big boys, like San Fran and NYC itself. Go Minneapolis! Just a few weeks ago Salon ran a piece on Hell's Kitchen. They have some damn good food. Amazingly, I haven't tried any of these joints mentioned in the Times article. I have some work to do!

The last place I tried was The Craftsman - I had a brilliant appetizer - pork rillettes with crostini. Oh my god does that sound good right now. They also great selection of local brews. However, if you go, I recommend that you skip the chorizo pizza: though the sausage was suitably dry and spicy, the pie had too much potato for my palette.

Dammat, now I'm hungry again...