Suckomatic

Wow, that last post has got to be the nadir of my blog thus far. Oh well, it's not like I've got many readers that I am abusing with this rubbish. One might even go so far as to say this blog is merely self-abuse. But readers, if you're out there, keep checking back! I'm fairly certain that I can stoop lower.

The list of movies on my to-review list hasn't gotten much shorter since I lamented that I was behind by six films. I wrote about two movies this week, but dammat if I don't still have four more to go. So here's two capsules to to cut it down to size.

Flyboys sucked. I mean it was really. really. dumb. I rented it for the bi-plane dogfights, which looked pretty nifty in the trailers, but they could not redeem this film. It was one gigantic cliché, floating over history like a bloated zeppelin. Here's the dashing James Franco, crash landing in the remote French countryside. And oh look, he's rescued by brothel girls - lots of demand for high-class French courtesans out among the villagers. But wait, the cutest, most innocent girl in this den-of-sin is no harlot; she's just visiting the whore-house. Do you think romance will ensue? Meanwhile, the grizzled wing commander broods in the officer's club. You know how I know he's a badass? He's got a pet lion.

Good thing the stern flight instructor can keep the peace between the world-weary veteran and the plucky recruits. They are one motley bunch. I mean, do you think the black pilot will teach the aristocratic dandy a lesson about the dangers of prejudice? I hope he can do it in time for the climactic confrontation with the sneering German pilot who impolitely shoots at people on the ground. The nerve! What does he think this is, a war?

Mike Judge's Idiocracy is a goofy satire with a high concept: after five hundred years in suspended animation, an average Joe wakes up to find that he is the smartest man alive. The silk-zubaz-wearing populace has grown so agonizingly dull-witted that they are unable to solve the most basic of humanity's problems. Like how to water the grass, or where to put that anal probe.

The single funniest moment in the film comes during the introduction of the President, easily the funniest character in the movie. Terry Crews immersed himself in the role with balls-out glee, delivering the best lines with frenetic zest.

The movie probably could have used another rewrite to streamline some of the sagging areas and sharpen its satirical edge. The jokes in this film have the subtlety of a jackhammer, but therein lies the real zinger: you laugh twice. Once because the humor appeals to one's more primitive self, and a second time because America has already come eerily close to realizing some of the stupitopian horrors.

Next up - "serious films." I'd better do a separate post for those. This post is suckomatic!