Damn Bird...

Yesterday evening as I was walking my dogs a bird shit on me. A direct hit! Little fucker. Never in my nearly thirty-nine years can I recall that ever happening before. It left a big ol' bird turd right on my jacket and my arm. The experience brought to mind a classic childhood verse...

Birdie birdie in the sky
Dropped some whitewash in my eye
I'm a big boy I don't cry
Gee I'm glad that cows don't fly

Sluts Report, I Deride

It's come to this: recently Fox put on its payroll a pornstar as a political correspondent. Yes, you read that right. But I guess it stands to reason: to Fox, news is just another form of stroke material to be packaged and peddled to an all-too-uncritical audience. So if a man watching late-night cable wants to flip to Fox News after his seven minutes of fun in front of adult pay-per-view, who am I to object? Maybe Fox is just giving the demographic what it wants.

Tagtastic

Not a day passed when he did not fulminate against Batista (That ox! That peasant!) or Castro (The goat-fucking comunista!) or CIA chief Allen Dulles (That effeminate!), who had failed to stop Batista's ill-advised Mother's Day Amnesty that freed Fidel and the other moncadistas to fight another day.

Needless to say, I've been tagged. Lately I haven't been keeping with my bloggerly duties. The rules...

1. Pick up the nearest book (at least 123 pages).
2. Turn to page 123.
3. Find the 5th sentence.
4. Post the 5th sentence on your blog.
5. Tag 5 people.

The passage was taken from The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, by Junot Diaz. Great book, by the way. I highly recommend it. I still haven't written my review of it. So sue me.

I tag LLTK, JFB, Lacifer, Miz Verde, and Onion Town.

The Strange And Sublime Turns of Mood

I looked out this window this morning and I have to admit I was a little disappointed to see that the 6"-10" inches of snow that we were promised had not fallen. In its stead there was about an inch of really slushy slop covering the sidewalks. Minnesotans take a perverse pleasure in inclement weather. I suppose we are not that different than other folks in that regard. I think there is something about being clobbered by bad weather that slows the pace of modern life.

After a walk with my dogs and a hot bath, my disappointment was forgotten and I was much revived. I got on the bus to work and I buried my nose in my book, happily engrossed in its pages while the driver sped us on our way. When I arrived at my destination, I was again completely deflated to find that I had forgotten my computer at home. Not my day! I stood outside in the cold rain, a little annoyed by cigarette smoke from someone nearby. I couldn't seem to avoid no matter where I stood. But I bore up as best I could and the bus arrived from the opposite direction. I climbed on board for the return trip.

I again found myself absorbed in my book when a couple of teenagers got on the bus and started a loud conversation. A minor irritant, but somehow it always seems to get under my skin. I nevertheless managed to refocus my attention on my book and read an exceptional passage.

By the time I was home, I was again in high spirits.

Iraq Me Dave Petraeus

Gen. David Petraeus said today that the success of the surge in Iraq was "fragile and reversible." He added that "we haven't turned any corners, we haven't seen any lights at the end of the tunnel..."

Blah blah blah. I'm too tired to complain about Bush's billion-dollar-a-week kill-brown-people habit. In fact my mind began to wander as I was reading this story, and I found myself humming this song in my head, only I exchanged the lyrics with the title of this post.

I think Falco would be proud, may he rest in peace.

Oh To Be Young Again...

Yesterday as I was wandering around Target in a stupor, my head filled with all of the distractions of modern life and my body weary from a poor night's sleep, I overheard a four-year-old in the toy aisle. He whispered breathlessly, "daddy I think I know what I want..."

His words were not whiny or demanding or haughty. His request overflowed with humility and wonder. The sweetness, innocence, and purity of his earnest tone serve as a wonderful reminder to simplify.