So I got home from work today and said, "hey ma, how was your day besides wonderful and invigorating?" And she flashed me a bemused, exasperated look and replied, "today while I was seeing the amputee, and tending to his infected stump, the dog was sniffing my crotch. I look over at other side of the bed and see a mouse crawling up the bedspread, and the cat isn't doing anything about it. So I say to the woman, 'there's a mouse, how come the cat isn't doing anything about it?' and the woman picks up the cat and throws it at the mouse. In the meantime the amputee has shit the bed."
I love my job.