Cowardly Dick

Seriously. Cheney acts as if he is the old-school Tricky Dick, wholly above the law, strutting around Washington and the world, pretending to have a big ol' brass pair. Alas, he isn't what he pretends to be. If this little Dick was as cocksure as the character he plays in this Administration, he would be running for president. But he doesn't really have the sack to do it.

Like a ventriloquist telling pathetic jokes with a dummy, he is not capable of making an actual connection with people, nor can he articulate any higher ideals. Instead, he is forever relegated to the role of putting his hand up someone's ass and hiding behind whatever artifice he can find. Hardly selling points for one who has such an apparent will-to-power and a major chip on his shoulder.

I might be able to respect him if he ran for president. Then he'd demonstrate that he actually believes his own bizarro-world construction of himself: a warrior, judge and avenger, standing between us and the teeming evil horde. But he's really just another cowardly opportunist, as corrupt as anyone ever to hold his office, and as thin-skinned as a certain former governor of Minnesota. May he live out his days in a tortured, marginal state of existence. Good riddance.